This article is guest written by co-editor-in-chief Irene Zhang.

With donations pouring in, the MPower Campaign has delivered to us yet another delightful future addition to the school that all students and faculty will no doubt enjoy: an upgrade to the state-of-the-art Mulgrave Pool. The Pool, already a healthy fixture to many community members’ morning routines (spot the wet hair at 8:30 every morning), will double in size with additional lanes, as well as a smaller and shallower pool for the youngest Mulgravians. The Mulgrave Pool, by Christmas 3018, will become Olympic-sized.

Interviewing the director of West Wing construction, Daniel Clarke, Le Moignon Baguette is told that the exact architectural plan for the Pool is being “kept confidential” so that “it’ll be a proper Christmas gift”. However, Mr. Clarke did reveal that the Pool’s water will be dyed a distinct Mulgrave blue to be consistent with the rest of the school’s branding, and the pool noodles will form the four lines of the Mulgrave logo. The Pool will share the unparalleled view of the West Coast mountains and oceans, and when questioned about privacy, Mr. Clarke replied, “in this day and age, oversharing has simply become a facet of life, with social media booming and slowly conquering the way we view the personal and the communal…” and proceeded to give a TOK-style lecture on the privacy of the body that culminated in the Knowledge Question “can personal knowledge be completely independent of shared knowledge?” For this mind-provoking conversation and sharing with us details about the new Pool, we at the Baguette would like to thank Mr. Clarke for his valuable time.

Now comes the most important question: who will the Pool be named after? Mulgrave has a history of naming parts of the school after important financial contributors, and anonymous sources have confirmed that families are competing to donate to MPower to have their surname hang on the Pool’s entrance. Rumours are that some families are putting “Pool-specific” on the memo section of donation cheques in order to make sure that every cent will go to this exciting addition. To quote one donor who’d like to remain anonymous, “sure, seminar rooms for the Middle School are great and the Junior School kids need music facility, but if our family’s hard-earned money goes towards the Mulgrave Pool, it’d be truly well-spent.”

Obviously, this development will positively impact the Mulgrave swim team, rumoured to actually exist. The principled journalists at the Baguette managed to track down one such self-titled “swimmer” who currently trains at the West Vancouver Community Centre, and when said student heard about the pool he proceeds to almost faint and sing words of praise in pure joy, calling the news “the most unbelievable Christmas miracle”.

Should you wish to donate to this wonderful cause, please dedicate a donation to “The Mulgrave Pool” here.

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Though literature, current events, debate, music and Google are her passions, Irene likes nothing more than a squeaky clean inbox with exactly less than 8 emails. She also likes to add strange milks to coffee and finds algebra soothing, and secretly likes those who can spell her Chinese name better.

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